My Letterman List

So I get these people asking em to tell them a little about myself. Except, I am a bit complex, and that is not such an easy thing to do at times. So I came up with a little bit of a Letterman List. Except I have more than just ten. So my list:

Transsexual

College student double majoring in psychology and journalism/public relations.

Polyamourous/Non-Monogamous – I am not looking to settle down. And I am rather fond of my ability to take or let go of lovers as I desire.

Gothy and love vampires, but hate Twilight – I like dark, morbid, macabre things. I like to dress like I am going to a funeral even when I am going out for a night on the town.

Kinky. Very kinky – Not like "a little kink with my sex, please," but "a little sex with my kink please." And honestly no, I am not looking to teach anyone at this time. My ideal lover needs to come into this sense of power and mastery and their own experiences with power exchange. And any more, vanilla sex – except with women – is sort of boring to me.

Mostly bottom and submissive – While I will top and dominate girls and very, very feminine boys, when it comes to men, I really only bottom. This includes sexually as well. I’ve attempted to top guys and it just was not my thing.

YFI – Yet Fiercely Independent. I am willful. I test limits and boundaries. Because the only way I can really feel safe enough to truly let go is to know I am truly secured and watched over. If I start to think that I can manipulate my way or that I have all the control or power in a relationship, the power exchange dynamic starts to fail for me. Of course this means I have to find someone very trustworthy, who has a great deal of self discipline and dedication, and who knows themselves inside and out.

Geeky - like OMG Anime, Role Playing Games, Console Games, Science, Science Fiction, Geekiness!!! These are some of my forms of stress release. And I really need to be able to talk to the people I am involved with about them. I joke about how I am Patrica Pan – that I refuse to grow up, and I have my Lost Girls who I look after and help them be able forever young and childlike as well. Though sometimes I would much rather be Alice…

Reclusive - sometime I withdraw from communities for long periods of time. Like I will get deeply involved in them, and then I will sort of pull away for a bit. I am actually very shy and get overwhelmed by too much going on sometimes.

Queer - very sexually and sometimes gender fluid. I simply don’t do straight. I cannot. Though I always prefer to be identified in the feminine.

Leftist Queer Trans Activist - need I say more? I believe very strongly in progressive thought and causes.

Deeply Held Spiritual Crazy Woogy Woogy - In a way, I am sort of a spiritual atheist. I believe very strongly in the concepts of science, the scientific method, and understanding our world. At the same time, I also thing science does not nearly hold all the answers yet. It has the potential, but that process will take a very long time. And even though I accept my beliefs may be nothing more than the byproducts of psychology and the perception process, but that does not keep me from having a deeply held spiritual life and personal mythology which I use to help understand my internal and external world.

There you go. That is the “Tell me a little about yourself” in a nutshell.